Today’s book is “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck ” by Mark Manson. So let’s dive into today’s post rightaway.
Manson tells in his book that today there’s a lot fuss in lot of self improvement book that be happier, be successful, be attractive. But this all self improvement books which tells us to be more is actually misleading us. Mansion says that the want to become more happy is itself a indicator that you are not happy, the affirmations saying that you’re beautiful makes you feel as though you are not beautiful. You try visualization exercises to become successful because you feel as though you are not successful.
Mansion says that all these affirmations, visualization exercises, all these doesn’t help. Instead makes the situation worse. He says this fixation on the positive – on what’s better, what’s superior only serves to remind us over and over again what we lack or what we should have been but failed to be.
Everyone from society to social media wants you to believe that a successful life contains a nicer job, great luxury car, luxurious home, great figure and six figure business. Mansion says that because of this we give our attention to too many things which affects our mental health and leads us to chase many superficial and fake things.
He says that instead the way to a better life is to give less attention to superficial and fake things and give more attention to things that really matters like your job, family, friends, health etc. And this is precisely what the subtle art of not giving a fuck means.
Happiness Comes from Solving Problems
Mansion says that, “Happiness comes from solving problems”. He says that if you are avoiding your problems or feel like you don’t have any problems then you’re going to make your life miserable. The secret sauce is in solving of the problem. The thing I learned from this topic is that problems are a constant in life. Look if you solve one problem, another one arises. And when we solve our problems, we become happy. The author says “Whatever the problem is, the concept is same, Solve Problems, Be Happy.”
Mansion says but there are two reasons because of which people make their life miserable:
- Denial:
The author says that some people deny that their problems exists in the first place. And this denial leads to a life of insecurity and emotional repression.
2. Victim Mentality:
The author says that some people just give up on their problems thinking that they can do nothing about it. This is called victim mentality. Victims just blame everyone else for their problems and do nothing about it. Yes, for a short term it feels better. But in long term, it leads to life of helplessness and despair.
Choose Your Struggle
Everyone wants to be happy, have a great job or business, live their dream life, follow their passion, and live a care free life. Nobody, literally nobody would deny it. But the question here is what pain are you willing to bear for your dream life or what are you willing to struggle for your great business dream.
I wanted to become a youtuber since I was sixteen. But everytime I made video I stopped after 1-3 months and gave up. Then again after 2-3 months I would try and again the same process would go on. This cycle went on till I am 26 now, and now I have quitted youtube completely and started what I really meant to do that is blogging about self improvement books that I read daily. It took me 10 years to realize this that I did not like the process of youtube video making, rather I just liked to imagine the result.
You see happiness requires struggle. People who have amazing physique have to go from pain and physical stress day in and day out with a tiny bite sized diet plan that most people would rather avoid. People with great business had to go through sixty hours of work week with various failures, uncertainity and risks involved.
Remember this your struggle will define you whatsoever. People who enjoy in the gym have stunning biceps, chest and abs. People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainities of the starving artists are the ones who get to live their dream life. Choose your struggle and your struggle will define who you will become.
So that’s it for today. I hope you got some valuable information from this blog post. Thanks for reading and do give your feedback in the comment section below.
